Question: I bought too much candy for the trick-or-treaters, and now I have four bags of assorted candies in my pantry. Instead of eating breakfast, I have just been munching on milk duds throughout the morning. It’s making me feel awful. How can I resist the urge to eat candy instead of a meal?

I talked to The Horse’s health expert, and she assured me that you are not alone: Over 40% of Americans are complete disappointments regarding their inability to resist eating candy instead of breakfast. Find comfort, however, in knowing you are doing better than the 58% of Americans who are skipping dinner for candy.

To solve your issue, I suggest that you store the candy in your oven. An oven is an insane place to store extra food, so you will usually forget you have candy. Bonus points if you accidentally melt the candy when you preheat your oven.

Question: I bought the assorted candy bag for trick-or-treaters, and they took everything except the whoppers. What am I supposed to do with 80 individually wrapped packages of whoppers? None of my children and other family members like them. Why do they taste so bad?

I’ll start with your second question. I did some research, and I learned that whoppers are actually recycled styrofoam dipped in a mixture of melted chocolate and leftover pieces of owl pellets from fifth grade science classes. No wonder nobody likes them!

Whoppers may not be good for eating, but they are great slingshot ammunition. Since your children are probably extremely hyper from all of the excess Halloween candy, send them out into the backyard with some rubber bands and the whoppers. Since the whoppers are mostly styrofoam, they don’t cause much damage.