The Southern Conference has seen its fair share of basketball coaches leaving for bigger schools. Chattanooga lost Lamont Paris to South Carolina, UNCG lost Wes Miller to Cincinnati, Samford lost supreme leader of “Bucky Ball”, Bucky McMillan to Texas A&M. But, Furman’s Bob Richey has stayed strong in Greenville.
He was flirted with by several other schools, including South Carolina. But why has Richey stayed? Does he just love Furman? Or is there a darker reason?
The Horse sent expert investigative reporter Max E. Padd to try and get to the bottom of this. And what he found was startling.
Padd went to the newly renovated Timmons Arena to begin his investigation. When walking up to the facility, Padd noticed a startling number of Tesla Cybertrucks in the parking lot.
He then entered Timmons through an unlocked and open door, searching for anything. He smelled the new paint smell, saw the shiny new court. But, then he discovered a door marked, “DO NOT ENTER.”
So, what did Padd do? He entered the door.
The door revealed a staircase, one that led to the basement of Timmons. There, a rogue copier was spewing out pieces of paper. The papers were the same copy of a SpaceX Flight Log. Padd snatched a copy, putting it into his pocket.
He wandered deeper into Timmons, the twisted and turning halls of the arena seemingly swallowing him. He then entered the court. A group of people with metal purple buckets over their heads sat in a circle. They muttered a strange murmur. Padd got closer.
“Bobby Ball. Bobby Ball. BOBBY BALL!” they chanted, volume rising.
Were they the Furman Fanatics?
Suddenly, one of the bucket-heads arose, snatching what was in the middle of the circle. A miniature statue of Coach Richey and Elon Musk in their grasp, being thrust up into the darkness of the court.
“I love watching our players miss three-pointers.” they all said in unison. “Thank you to Elon.” they chanted.
Miss three-pointers? Okay, that was only partially true. Thanks to Elon?
Padd pulled out the crumpled Space X flight log out of his pocket, reading it. Coach Richey had taken a flight with just him and Elon. There was a note written, ‘To my best friend’ and signed off ‘With love, Bob’.
Suddenly, the bucketheads turned and looked at Padd. They had an extra bucket and slowly but menacingly put it on his head…… BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
273910301-9287338#(!)99**3821%137 ……. BBBBBBB
B0BBYB4LLB0BBYBALLBOBBYBALLBOBBYBALLBOBBYBALLBOBBYBALLBOBBYBALLBOBBYBALLBOBBYBALLBOBBYBALL …. BOBBY BALL.
